Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

You're more likely to be struck by lightning than the Pacers were to win their playoff comebacks - NBC News

I can count

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I see through liars

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How do I stop having work crushes because I only keep getting disappointed almost every day as I keep seeing they don’t like me back and won’t ever ask me out?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

'Cosmic miracle!' James Webb Space Telescope discovers the earliest galaxy ever seen - Yahoo

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Review: At $349, AMD’s 16GB Radeon RX 9060 XT is the new midrange GPU to beat - Ars Technica

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Is it possible to make cars that run on water instead of gasoline or other fossil fuels? Why haven't we done so yet?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Debunking 5 myths about when your devices get wet - The Conversation

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Column | Nervous about using the bathroom at work? A gastroenterologist shares advice. - The Washington Post

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

All international travelers should get measles vaccine, CDC says - OregonLive.com

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What is your opinion about homosexuality? Do you think that it is by nature or a choice?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

After 6 new cases over the weekend, North Dakota has nation's highest measles rate - InForum

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Samsung is giving these Galaxy phones a big One UI upgrade - here's which models qualify - ZDNET

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have a reading level above third grade

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Are We Wrong About Dark Matter? Dwarf Galaxies Suggest So - SciTechDaily

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why the U.S. tax bill's Section 899 could push European firms to list in the U.S. - CNBC

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Can you share some of your favorite jokes that are not well-known but always make people laugh?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fakery

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I understand how hurricane paths work

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I actually pay taxes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes